Français.e.s à l’étranger au temps du coronavirus – Ethan, Barcelone

J’ai demandé à des français et des françaises résidant à l’étranger de nous parler de leur expatriation et de leur situation actuelle, dans un contexte épidémique. Les interviews ont été synthétisés en des témoignages et anonymisés. Merci à elles, merci à eux de raconter leur histoire.

Ethan a 25 ans, il vit à Barcelone depuis trois ou quatre ans. Il nous raconte son histoire et sa situation de français à l’étranger au temps du COVID-19.

Mon histoire…
Je vis d’un peu de traduction et de mes activités de promotion d’événements l’été, mais je suis musicien. “Mon objectif, mon rêve” c’est la musique. Actuellement, “je vis en coloc […] avec que des français”. Au bout de quelques années d’expérience en colocation, je me suis rendu compte que “vivre en communauté c’est plus simple de le faire avec des gens de ta culture”. Mon identité, “en terme culturel, c’est encore une question assez active dans ma tête”. “Mes deux parents sont juifs” d’origine marocaine et turque. Pour ma part, “je suis né à Albi, j’ai grandi à Albi mais je me suis jamais vraiment senti albigeois, je me sens pas vraiment trop français non plus, ironiquement” du fait que “je suis juif”. 

    Aussi, “j’ai vécu dans plusieurs pays” : Pays-Bas, Argentine, Espagne. Je suis trilingue et je pense que “quand tu parles une autre langue, c’est pas seulement que tu t’exprimes dans une autre langue, tu exprimes aussi une autre facette de ta personnalité […] parce que la langue le permet, tout simplement”. J’ai remarqué que “j’étais comme une éponge, c’est-à-dire que je prenais de toutes les personnes que j’admire et j’aime ; je prends un petit peu que ce soit du langage ou même de la personnalité, des valeurs, etc”. Du fait d’une relation amoureuse avec une Vénézuélienne, “j’ai développé aussi une personnalité très entre guillemets latino” ainsi qu’une manière de m’exprimer, ce qui a “ajouté une certaine confusion à mon identité”. Les personnes que je rencontre à Barcelone me renvoient constamment à cette identité-là.

    Avant, “à chaque fois qu’on me demandait d’où je venais c’était un peu une question sensible”. Et puis, je suis parti en voyage en Colombie seul pendant deux mois à moto et c’était en quelque sorte un “voyage introspectif”. “J’en suis un petit peu […] arrivé à la conclusion que j’étais pas soit juif, soit français, soit latino, soit quelque chose, j’étais en fait un mix de tout”. Je pense que “c’est souvent en voyageant que tu te rends compte des choses” auxquelles tu étais habitué toute ta vie.

    Ce qui est particulier à Albi c’est que “le temps est arrêté, les choses n’évoluent pas”, “c’est pas comme dans une capitale où tout bouge et tout est en mouvement”. Même si “les gens sont agréables, très sympas, très polis”, “j’ai besoin d’une ambiance plus stimulante pour poursuivre mes objectifs”. Lors des quelques mois que j’ai passé “à Amsterdam, ce que j’ai adoré c’est que les Hollandais sont d’une gentillesse incroyable”. A Buenos Aires j’ai rencontré “des gens qui communiquaient d’une manière assez brute” alors que “en Europe en général on a plein de barrières socio-culturelles, économiques, etc, qui font que l’interaction de deux personnes […]” est régie par des facteurs divers, notamment de richesse.

    En Argentine et en Colombie, j’ai vu “des gens authentiques, chaleureux, qui auront un intérêt désintéressé, vraiment authentique de t’aider, qui communiquent avec toi, qui rigolent. Il y a beaucoup plus de sourires dans la rue, de rire” et “j’ai toujours manqué de ça en France”. Par exemple, quand “t’es dans la queue du supermarché jamais tu vas parler avec la personne qui fait la queue derrière toi”, “alors que dans ces pays-là tu peux avoir une conversation avec n’importe qui dans la rue”. Tout ça, “m’a permis de découvrir une facette de ma personnalité que j’avais jamais exprimé”.

Mon expatriation…
J’ai passé un an à Barcelone lors de mes études, et j’y suis revenu, deux ans plus tard après Buenos Aires et un an en France. “Je suis parti en ne sachant rien du tout” mais “j’avais le chômage, donc ça m’a permis de tenir un petit peu”. Comme j’y avais vécu, “je connaissais déjà des gens” et j’ai eu la chance de trouver un travail rapidement.

Barcelone “c’est tellement international” qu’il “y a vraiment de tout parce que chaque personne que tu croises dans la rue a une nationalité différente”. “Mais c’est pas une ville comme par exemple Paris ou Londres qui est ambitieuse”, je crois qu’ici “les gens se contentent de cette petite vie tranquille”. “L’ambiance générale c’est quand même très détendu” et dans la ville règne “une bonne énergie que j’adore, moi j’adore cette ville” ! Je pense que “tu peux un peu trouver ton nid quelque soit la personne que tu es, tu peux te développer à Barcelone parce qu’il y a de tout”. 

Pour autant, je me sens pas Barcelonais, “je pense pas qu’il y ait des expats qui se sentent Barcelonais, c’est dur de se sentir Barcelonais”. Les expatriés et les catalans c’est “deux mondes qui se mélangent pas”, disons que “tu continues à être qui tu es mais dans une autre ville”. Ici, “j’ai aucun pote catalan” mais “j’ai des potes de toutes les nationalités” et “pour moi c’est un truc indispensable dans la vie”. 

Ma vie au temps de l’épidémie…
Avant le confinement ma vie “ressemblait un peu à un rêve parce que j’étais en Colombie” où j’ai fait un voyage en moto pendant deux mois. “Je suis rentré du voyage et deux jours après, on a annoncé le confinement”. C’était étrange de “passer d’un opposé à l’autre, d’un état de liberté totale à être littéralement enfermé chez soi”. Je dirais que “je l’ai vécu plutôt bien” même si “les 2-3 premiers jours ont été difficiles, je pense que je me sentais un peu désorienté”. “Tu te sens pas vraiment à ta place” car la plupart des gens ne comprennent pas l’expérience très forte que tu as vécu. Cette impression, je pense que “c’est quelque chose qui est propre à un voyage en moto” parce qu’“en moto tu as pas de bulle protectrice autour de toi et tous tes sens sont exacerbés”.

“Ma vie en ce moment elle est pas vraiment différente de la vie que j’ai normalement à Barcelone, je fais ma musique la journée, je lis, j’ai la chance d’avoir des colocs vraiment cool”… “on a pas à se plaindre” ! Je ne regarde pas les informations, donc je ne me rends pas forcément compte de ce qui se passe à l’extérieur même si “j’en suis conscient”, “c’est une décision que j’ai prise de pas me tenir au courant, certains pourraient appeler ça de l’ignorance, moi j’appelle ça […] centrer mon attention sur autre chose”.

“J’ai l’impression qu’en France y a beaucoup plus de gens qui ne respectent pas” le confinement, et “ça, c’est propre à la mentalité très rebelle du Français qu’en Espagne y a beaucoup moins”. Ici, dans les “patio de manzana”, “tous les soirs à 20 heures, les gens ils sortent pour applaudir et ils mettent de la musique aussi […] et du coup tout le monde sort sur les balcons et se met à danser, qui font des chorégraphies, y a des gens qui se parlent d’un balcon à l’autre”. “C’est unique ce qui se passe tous les jours à 20 heures” et “c’est des moments très forts, des moments de complicité avec des gens à qui normalement t’aurais jamais parlé”.

“Bien évidemment, je suis un petit peu inquiet par rapport à ma grand-mère, ou à mon père et ma mère” par rapport au virus “mais tant que ça n’arrive pas je vais pas m’inquiéter pour un truc qui potentiellement peut arriver”. Je ne m’inquiète pas trop non plus “par rapport à cet été, j’ai aucun contrôle sur la situation, c’est très probable qu’on va pas pouvoir bosser”. En fait, ma situation “quand je la compare à beaucoup de gens que j’ai rencontré en Colombie, elle est quand même 100 fois mieux”.

Je pense aussi que “le confinement a du bon”. Avec mes colocataires on se dit que, c’est vrai, “il y a le chaos autour de nous […] mais ce confinement ça nous a permis de nous connaître et de connecter d’une façon qu’on avait jamais connue”. “Je dirais même que, bien évidemment, pas que je suis content qu’il y ait ce confinement mais je suis content de vivre quelque chose comme ça, c’est à dire que je vois énormément de positif” ! J’éprouve “un peu une sensation que le monde s’est enfin arrêté et qu’on peut enfin respirer deux secondes”.

Pour moi, il y a vraiment “une sensation d’apaisement”. Et puis, avant, bien que mes journées étaient à peu près semblables, “j’avais toujours une petite voix dans ma tête qui me disait : bon bouge toi un peu parce qu’à 18 heures faut que tu fasses ça […] mais là, t’as tellement de temps, que t’es tranquille, tu fais les choses à ton rythme”. Finalement, je crois que “je le prends un peu comme une retraite”.

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